Wednesday, December 15, 2004



when i worked in sacramento, my project with the most client meetings was a mining project down in tulare county. the team from my firm was comprised of a male project director, a female project manager, and me, the project bitch. when we went down to meetings, my manager and i would be the only women we'd see all day. we'd sit in a room fullllll of old white men, none under 45 years old, all good ol' boys with huge families who ran the show in their community. the only sounds i would make during the meetings would be wisecracks under my breath to my manager.

now, working in the bay area office of the same company, my project with the most client meetings is a redevelopment project in san francisco. the team from my firm is again comprised of a male PD, a female PM, and me. but the PD is gay. the PM is african-american. we go to meetings and their are consistently more women than men around the table. there is a lesbian who has five piercings and wears male-cut suits every day, a gay man who talks during the meeting breaks about what he and his partner are doing to celebrate christmas, at least four people of color--two of them women... and half of the participants are under the age of 45. i get asked questions, and i feel comfortable giving answers. i even feel comfortable correcting people. (ok, well...mostly i feel comfortable correcting people! i *am* still the project bitch.)

i love working in the bay area.

Monday, December 06, 2004



last night after hooping i went out to dinner at original joe's with jason and philo. i ingested almost an entire loaf of french bread with butter. it was one of the best meals i've had in weeks and weeks. you don't appreciate bread until you stop eating it.

(even as i type my blood is waiting patiently in line to be tested for celiac sprue in a lab somewhere in berkeley. i could have saved my insurance company the money--after that meal i think i can say with certainty that i don't have a life-threatening allergy to gluten.)


in my car alone except for a chirping phone at 5am...and TOTALLY HAPPY

a few thoughts on the way things work for me these days...

i went to all three parties this weekend by myself, and i had a GREAT time with that set of circumstances. i think a lot of it had to do with the contrast it presented when compared to last weekend, which involved a fair bit of care-taking and coordinating and waiting around for others... BUT i also think i spent more time talking to and dancing with new people than i would have if i'd been there with a friend or two, and that is fanTAStic. when i go to a party by myself now i'm usually only nervous or self-conscious for about 5-10 minutes--if at all--before i find someone i know or find a hoop to play with or find a spot on the dancefloor that feels good. i know, i know... going to parties alone is totally normal here... but i'm still getting used to it and i still feel a sense of empowerment every time i do it. good to remember--i should try to set dates with myself to go out alone a bit more often. (not that i don't absolutely LOVE going out with you all the time, you-know-who-you-are. that is NOT the issue :P )

i had a moment of lucid happiness this weekend was when an acquaintance asked me, at midnight on saturday night, 'so what are you doing tonight?' why was i so tickeld by that question? because 1) it was midnight but i hadn't started my night yet and 2) someone i don't even really *know* knew that i hadn't started my night yet.

this is directly related to my new fun thing that i get delighted by--phone calls between midnight and 6am. i'm pretty sure i mentioned this a few weeks ago, but i am still fascinated and delighted by the phenomenon. i love having vera call at 1:30 to ask when i'm going to be heading over to such-and-such. i love getting text messaged by people at 4 asking if the party i'm at is still worth checking out. i even love allison lee's insane drunk messages from inside the same building as me when she is tired and can't figure out where i am. it's all so ridiculous and contrary to what my saturday nights used to be, when 1:30 was the normal time to start heading home, leaving a party at 12:30 wasn't unheard of, and a 3am night was a rarity. now if i get to party at 10 it's only because they're having an open bar for the first hour or two; my *early* nights lately have been 3am nights; and i only start talking about how i 'need to start thinking about going to bed soon' if i can see that the sun's starting to come up.

there was a party in davis on saturday night at one of the coops in my old scene. it was the type of thing that at one point i would have been excited about for *daaaays* and possibly even *weeks* ahead of time. so saturday night i remembered that it was happening and started to think about what all my old friends were doing and starting to do an 'awwww...' then i looked at the clock. 3am. HA! nevermind. the police would have made kelly stop spinning a good hour ago, IF the house had been lucky enough to avoid getting shut down by neighbor complaints at midnight. and then i had a few quick flashbacks to parties in davis that had been built up for days only to fall flat with poor attendance because of the silly finicky homebody davis parties in davis that were ruined because they were too widely publicized and a hundred random frat boys showed parties in davis that were awkward and awful because of high school kids getting in fights over parties in davis that sucked because the sound guys didn't know what they were doing...

i REALLY love living in the bay area.


weekend update

a record of the events:

friday night was mellow yum. i went to the connecticutt yankee (note: nice change to go to a venue that has more than 4 types of beer!) for a surprise party for an old davis acquaintance who i've been reconnecting with, and got to see a few old friends and a set by home at last, a permutation of uncle harlan's band, who i used to be *really* into. then i went to a party at amnesia (note: again, a bar that actually had good beer! two in one night--amazing!) where i got to use a *password* to get in. i didn't see many people i knew but i met a few, and i danced a LOT. the coolest thing was that the last dj--soundboy--ended up spinning drum n bass, which i used to dance to all the time (thanks to the lovely and talented dj tao and his friends) but haven't danced to in aaaages. i wasn't the only one who was pleasantly surprised to get some dnb--the crowd was in a great mood. early evening though--i left at closing and was in bed by 3. early...hee hee!

just thinking about saturday night makes me smile and stretch like a contented cat. such a fantastic combination of making new friends while still focusing on dancing...

i first went to the joy of breasts art opening and did a three-hour shift as a go-go dancer (more on that later). FUN party--more interesting than i had anticipated, with a crazy-diverse crowd (including a group of kids doing breakdancing, a bunch of bare-breasted lesbians, a couple in bondage, and the usual assortment of hippies, feminists, freaks, and innocent passersby...) i met a couple of people and convinced them to come to xeno's freakdom at terra with me.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. and mmmmmm again. xeno will draw my full attention from now on. kickass job. nice too that the crowd was on the small-ish side--there was plenty of room for hooping and everyone had their own space on the dancefloor. so the highlight of the night, and the primary reason that i'm all purrrrr-happy cat-like contented, was ooah and dorfex bos *working* the crowd together from 2:30-4am. they spun out one of the best sets i've ever ever heard.

~moment of introspective silence to be used to contemplate the euphoria generated by music and dance~

groan and sigh, with serious feeling.

i was still high off of their manipulation yesterday afternoon and into last night. it was incredible. i mean, those boys sent shivers and shudders into places on my body i didn't think could experience music-induced vibration. i wish i knew more about what it was that they did that really struck me... gawd, i've still got soooo much to learn about electronic music...

and as if that wasn't enough to make me smile for three days, i was in my car heading towards bed when i got a text message from a friend from LA, saying 'where are you? i'm at freakdom. saw you and then when i turned around you were gone!' (he had elected NOT to call me to tell me he'd be around that night, with the rationale that he 'knew he would see me--you're always at the best parties.' bah and ha and rolled eyes. but anyways.) i went back and found him and continued to avoid sleep for the rest of the night.

i love living in the bay area.

Sunday, December 05, 2004


rainbow of reads, part the second

vera and i went by adobe book store one night last week, and it was even more amazing in person.

incredible. just...incredible.

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