Thursday, April 27, 2006
peripheral vision, focused.
(expanded from an email, which i think i'm going to start doing more often so that i actually end up posting...)
the world is full of good friends this week.
i had a long phone call with my best-friend-type person on monday evening, then a quick but reassuring and soul-warming 15 minutes with haji, dropping by en route to maui... a lovely call from julien on tuesday night--he called from a beach in florida at 1am to send me smiles... then a startlingly beautiful conversation with elana, dwelling on events from a year ago that brought us into each others' lives... i'm having dinner tonight with friends from davis--some of my closest and most valued friends from davis--who i haven't seen in 10 months... and kyle and trish are back in town and will be at nickie's tonight! all this happening just two weeks before i start my davis-oriented set of weekends: one weekend at whole earth festival, one weekend in tahoe for mel and kelly's wedding, and one weekend in sacramento to spend days sitting around with my closest friends from jones & stokes who i haven't seen since before they moved to portland last spring...
i'm starting to think about how narrow my world has been for the past four months. i was so terribly intent to bring my attention back to sF and make myself happier here that i forgot why i let my attention wander in the first place. balance, balance...... i've never been good at dealing with life when all my eggs are in one basket. things seem supported now, but baskets break and eggs crack and really this analogy will leave me with nasty eggy YUCK if i'm not careful. and there have in fact been some shifts in the past couple weeks... shifts that scare me and make me much less confident in the nest i thought i was settling into...
and now with raindance discussions my head is flying back to visit where it was last may...
aeons away, it seems now--and SO different.
but not all bad.
more alone, i was, much much more alone.
but more adventurous, and stronger.
and with my senses more alert for new experiences.
hmm...
so. to do... don't lose sight?
less time now, with my new job...
it's proving to be very challenging to keep my peripheral vision focused...
the world is full of good friends this week.
i had a long phone call with my best-friend-type person on monday evening, then a quick but reassuring and soul-warming 15 minutes with haji, dropping by en route to maui... a lovely call from julien on tuesday night--he called from a beach in florida at 1am to send me smiles... then a startlingly beautiful conversation with elana, dwelling on events from a year ago that brought us into each others' lives... i'm having dinner tonight with friends from davis--some of my closest and most valued friends from davis--who i haven't seen in 10 months... and kyle and trish are back in town and will be at nickie's tonight! all this happening just two weeks before i start my davis-oriented set of weekends: one weekend at whole earth festival, one weekend in tahoe for mel and kelly's wedding, and one weekend in sacramento to spend days sitting around with my closest friends from jones & stokes who i haven't seen since before they moved to portland last spring...
i'm starting to think about how narrow my world has been for the past four months. i was so terribly intent to bring my attention back to sF and make myself happier here that i forgot why i let my attention wander in the first place. balance, balance...... i've never been good at dealing with life when all my eggs are in one basket. things seem supported now, but baskets break and eggs crack and really this analogy will leave me with nasty eggy YUCK if i'm not careful. and there have in fact been some shifts in the past couple weeks... shifts that scare me and make me much less confident in the nest i thought i was settling into...
and now with raindance discussions my head is flying back to visit where it was last may...
aeons away, it seems now--and SO different.
but not all bad.
more alone, i was, much much more alone.
but more adventurous, and stronger.
and with my senses more alert for new experiences.
hmm...
so. to do... don't lose sight?
less time now, with my new job...
it's proving to be very challenging to keep my peripheral vision focused...
# posted by orange @ 3:04 PM 
