Tuesday, November 16, 2004
pos-i-tiv-i-tea
last night i went to a meeting of a women's group that vera recently invited me to check out. i left feeling stronger and more supported, even though i don't know the women very well and am not sure how often i'll see them in the future. also, the evening involved hot tubbing, which is an activity that i have come to greatly appreciate for all sorts of lofty philosophical reasons. i've missed it--hot tubbing is a good strong pillar of davis community life--and it was wonderful to share that space with new people in a new version of my life.
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on saturday i was wheedled into driving over the bridge to spend the day with a friend who was in town. i'm really glad i went. she and i are still recovering from a long period of tension that ended at burning man this year, and i feel like we're trying to properly reconstruct a friendship that wasn't ever built on anything particularly sturdy. it can be a little awkward sometimes--we've known each other for a while now and have been through a lot of experiences together, but without ever communicating very much--so we're now learning how to share the experiences and appreciate them together rather than individually. it feels really good to put energy into the relationship and know that we're both working on it and that it's likely to improve both of our lives.
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i talked to my cousin this weekend for a long time. i would really like to go visit her and get to know her better now that i'm old enough for her to treat me like an equal. i've always had strong ties to my extended family, but as i've gotten older it's been interesting and fulfilling to explore the potential for friendships with my cousins, aunts, and uncles. i'm allowed to get to know them now, which can be scary since it involves going beyond simple relationships of love and respect and can sometimes call those initial assumptions into question, but which can also open the relationships up to be way more important and supportive, since they're now based on real understanding and appreciation of personality.
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this happened a couple weeks ago and i keep wanting to talk about it: i got a phone call from a number and area code that i didn't recognize. it was a guy i'd never met, a friend of a friend who lives across the country. so this person was in town and looking for places to play. i asked him if he wanted to go with me to see my friend go-go dance at mighty, and we ended up hanging out that night and he crashed at my house. this was a very big deal for me. it was the first time that i've been in a situation like that without feeling nervous or unsettled. a year ago, if a friend of a friend had called out of the blue with no introduction and wanted to have me act as a hostess, i probably would have made up some excuse so that i wouldn't have to deal with them. i would have been startled and uncomfortable. but when this guy called it felt totally normal and comfortable to make plans, and i wasn't nervous at all. he didn't even have to ask if he could stay with me--i offered first and didn't think it was strange or sketchy to invite him. i want to attribute the change in my behavior to all sorts of things, but i'm not sure i can adequately explain it. i think i'll just say that i feel like i'm part of a different type of community than i used to be, and that this community has some really great standards for being open to and creating new friendships... ...on the other hand, of course, it might just be that i'm lonely and will take companionship when i can get it :P
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on saturday i was wheedled into driving over the bridge to spend the day with a friend who was in town. i'm really glad i went. she and i are still recovering from a long period of tension that ended at burning man this year, and i feel like we're trying to properly reconstruct a friendship that wasn't ever built on anything particularly sturdy. it can be a little awkward sometimes--we've known each other for a while now and have been through a lot of experiences together, but without ever communicating very much--so we're now learning how to share the experiences and appreciate them together rather than individually. it feels really good to put energy into the relationship and know that we're both working on it and that it's likely to improve both of our lives.
*
*
*
i talked to my cousin this weekend for a long time. i would really like to go visit her and get to know her better now that i'm old enough for her to treat me like an equal. i've always had strong ties to my extended family, but as i've gotten older it's been interesting and fulfilling to explore the potential for friendships with my cousins, aunts, and uncles. i'm allowed to get to know them now, which can be scary since it involves going beyond simple relationships of love and respect and can sometimes call those initial assumptions into question, but which can also open the relationships up to be way more important and supportive, since they're now based on real understanding and appreciation of personality.
*
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*
this happened a couple weeks ago and i keep wanting to talk about it: i got a phone call from a number and area code that i didn't recognize. it was a guy i'd never met, a friend of a friend who lives across the country. so this person was in town and looking for places to play. i asked him if he wanted to go with me to see my friend go-go dance at mighty, and we ended up hanging out that night and he crashed at my house. this was a very big deal for me. it was the first time that i've been in a situation like that without feeling nervous or unsettled. a year ago, if a friend of a friend had called out of the blue with no introduction and wanted to have me act as a hostess, i probably would have made up some excuse so that i wouldn't have to deal with them. i would have been startled and uncomfortable. but when this guy called it felt totally normal and comfortable to make plans, and i wasn't nervous at all. he didn't even have to ask if he could stay with me--i offered first and didn't think it was strange or sketchy to invite him. i want to attribute the change in my behavior to all sorts of things, but i'm not sure i can adequately explain it. i think i'll just say that i feel like i'm part of a different type of community than i used to be, and that this community has some really great standards for being open to and creating new friendships... ...on the other hand, of course, it might just be that i'm lonely and will take companionship when i can get it :P
# posted by orange @ 11:15 AM 
